The Birth Order of Children
Your Clothes:
· 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your
pregnancy.
· 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
· 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
· 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
· 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a
thing.
· 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
· 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly
in the baby's little wardrobe
· 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones
with the darkest stains.
· 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
· 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
· 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
· 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier:
· 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go
home and you can wash and boil it.
· 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice
from the babies bottle
· 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Nappies:
· 1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.
· 2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
· 3rd baby: You try to change the baby's nappy before others complain thatit smells
Your Clothes:
· 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your
pregnancy.
· 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
· 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
· 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
· 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a
thing.
· 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
· 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly
in the baby's little wardrobe
· 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones
with the darkest stains.
· 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
· 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
· 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
· 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier:
· 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go
home and you can wash and boil it.
· 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice
from the babies bottle
· 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Nappies:
· 1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.
· 2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
· 3rd baby: You try to change the baby's nappy before others complain thatit smells
or you see it hanging to their knees.
Activities:
· 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
· 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
· 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
· 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
· 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where
you can be reached
· 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
· 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
· 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't
squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
· 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins :
· 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and
demand x-rays.
· 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
· 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
Activities:
· 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
· 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
· 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
· 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
· 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where
you can be reached
· 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
· 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
· 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't
squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
· 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins :
· 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and
demand x-rays.
· 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
· 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
Hugs.
Jenny xo
